she said she dreamt – ace boggess

hat

She Said She Dreamt

we were prisoners together,
standing to the side
while hard men fought battles,
their arterial spray like trajectories
of missiles on computer maps.

I climbed inside her head into the dream &
sniffed permanent bathroom stench
mixed with faux-bleach & burning tissue-
paper smoke off makeshift cigarettes.

It wasn’t real, but as she told her story,
I heard the desk guard shouting, “Lock down!”
I watched the goon squad roll in,
cans of mace for target practice.

I wonder if in the dream I squeezed her hand,
said, “Hold your breath. Forget,”
or if she knew how lucky she was
to dream herself into a place like that,

whereas I, in my age of atrocities,
spent eighteen hundred nights alone
trying in vain to dream myself back out.

sbgs cowskull

Ace Boggess is author of four books of poetry, most recently I Have
Lost the Art of Dreaming It So (Unsolicited Press, 2018) and Ultra
Deep Field (Brick Road Poetry Press, 2017). His poetry has appeared in
North Dakota Quarterly, River Styx, cream city review, and American
Literary Review, among others. He received a fellowship from the West
Virginia Commission on the Arts and spent five years in a West
Virginia prison. He lives in Charleston, West Virginia.

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the haunting // the ghost of esperanza

00 ghostie

the haunting

BY THE GHOST OF ESPERANZA

How do I write that I love you?  How do I say that I love you in a way that doesn’t want to possess you?  When you laugh and your eyes squint it fills me up.  When you look into me, you make me feel seen and alive.  Like I want to feel everything.  Your touch, your gaze, your compassion to all my energy, makes me feel like warming up the world instead of burning it down.  The way you process the world astounds me.  You make me more loving to myself. You challenge me to be better than my bad habits. You challenge my negativity.  I have never felt more love than when I am around you. I feel free and trusted.  You nurture me in a way I have needed.  When you let me in and let me see you, I am recharged.  And I have asked you for deeper.  And I am also scared of deeper because like you I am clumsy until one of us has to be the gentle one with the steadier touch.  You make me secure even when I fear myself.  You’ve helped me see my magic as the reality it is.  And I don’t think that you see that you are magic.  You give me so much life.  I need security.  I desire security that we can’t always guarantee.  You teach me patience with me.

sbgs cowskull

spirit animal – steve shultz

spirit animal

She’s fascinated
by birds
I’m captivated
by bones

always optimistic,
she calls me pessimist
but I’m a realist, I say

is it just coincidence?
that she’s drawn
to living things
while I’m humming along
to songs of death

attractive opposites
and all that
but we really are
a perfect pair

I cheer her up
when her eyes turn dark clouds
or I give her space
if that’s what she needs

she makes me laugh
when I refuse to smile
she anchors me
reels me in
when I drift away

Magpies from her youth
Sparrows in the yard
Northern Flicker peck-peck-pecking
Blue Jays hit her heart
but she sees Crows the most

and what do I see?
but dead squirrels
in the street
a bird with broken wing

I used to have a spirit animal
a Coyote
or a Wolf
I saw him under bridges
hidden in tall grass
but I haven’t seen him
in a dozen years
did this beast take flight?
or flower into bones

I see
the plain underbelly
she sees
the decorated wings

if I had to choose one now
I know it’d be an Owl
I’ve heard him at my window
I’ve seen him up on high

sbgs cowskull

Steve Shultz is a poet, mailman, and former journalist from Aurora, CO. His third poetry collection, Pancreatic Care Package, was published in September by West Vine Press. He blogs sporadically at https://fmghost.wordpress.com.

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six poems – margarita serafimova

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The days – salamanders, were passing, white,
against the background of an elapsed summer.
The synthesis was a baby.

 

 

 

 

Everything is headlong –
to be touched, skin to skin,
and to become one.

 

 

 

 

Time was speaking.
It was saying that the future was past,
and the past was never.

 

 

 

 

I love you!, I was saying to the underwater bells of light
where I was seeing him above the sea floor.
I was loving him with bliss,
and I was knowing him.

 

 

 

 

Ουροβόρος (Ouroboros)

He is caressing my breasts,
I am caressing his hands,
which are caressing my breasts.

 

 

 

 

All life created itself so that
I would feel in your arms
the way I do.

 

sbgs cowskull

Serafimova was shortlisted for the Montreal International Poetry Prize 2017 and Summer Literary Seminars 2018 Poetry Contest, and long-listed for the Erbacce Press Poetry Prize 2018 and the Red Wheelbarrow 2018 Prize, as well as nominated for the Best of the Net by the BeZine. Margarita has three collections in Bulgarian (the most recent being The Insolubility of Splendour (2018)). Her work appears in Agenda Poetry, London Grip New Poetry, Trafika Europe, European Literature Network, The Journal, A-Minor, Waxwing, Orbis, Nixes Mate Review, StepAwayInk, Sweat and Tears, HeadStuff, Minor Literatures, The Writing Disorder, The Birds We Piled Loosely, Orbis, Chronogram, Noble/ Gas Quarterly, Origins Journal, miller’s pond, Obra/ ArtifactCalifragile, TAYO, Shot Glass Journal, Opiate, Poetic Diversity, Novelty Magazine, Pure Slush, Harbinger Asylum, Punch, Tuck, Ginosko, etc. Facebook

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nightmares – ghost of esperanza

ghost yard

I have these recurring dreams of protecting myself

In one, I was hitch-hiking.
I had a purse full of knives in case of danger
I still remember glancing inside my purse trying to determine
Which one would make me the safest?
Which one could I grab the quickest?

I once heard a story of woman hitchhiking
She got picked up by a truck driver who put his hand on her knee
He tried to grab her by the neck and push her face into his crotch
She stabbed him in the leg
and threw the truck into Park
and hopped the fuck out

In my dream, I didn’t need the knives for protection
In my dream, I took the truck

I had a dream
That my brother’s friend took me in when I needed a roof
I told him that I would not hug him
I told him that I would pay him because I didn’t trust a handout
He eyed me like cake
he waited until I was asleep to touch me
He said he only wanted to tickle me
In my dream, I said I didn’t want to be touched or tickled.
In my dream, I put pepper spray can to his face
and said he didn’t get to touch
He said I was cute when I was angry
In my dream, I peppered sprayed the fuck out of his eyes

I had a boyfriend who once gave me a knife to protect myself
He said he never wanted a bad thing to ever happen to me again
He yelled at me the day I forgot to carry it in my bra
He yelled at me that same day for trying to say “no” to him
He was proud when I remembered the knife
He was surprised when I held up the knife to protect myself after he broke down the door
He was stronger when he wrestled the knife out of my hand
and showed me in the mirror how you hold a knife
to someone’s throat
MY THROAT
my blood on the floor
He instructed me to clean myself up

I broke a mirror and fled
that wasn’t a dream
it was a living nightmare

I have this dream that I don’t carry all this anxiety
That I don’t have to think of the best ways to protect myself
That I can walk around
and not be so goddamn scared

sbgs cowskull

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maybe i’m in a murakami novel – ghost #62

ghost yard

Maybe I’m in a Murakami novel. Maybe I never got off that train in Japan. Maybe this is enough, I think, as I sit on a subway, contemplating my disappearing cat, my disappearing lover, eating a sandwich, my bags all shuffled like a chaotic orchestra. Maybe there’s death to be had. Maybe there’s morning that has yet to be sipped. Maybe there is a transcendentalism to bingewatching television. I am bingewatching people in the park. I am closing all of the garage doors to my emotional relevancy. Maybe I never left the city. Maybe the city is in me, a creature of habit, half asleep on a train that goes in circles beneath the novel of my moment.

Image result for cat clipart

sometimes a building will not let you – ghost #4

ghost yard

Sometimes a building will not let you
move around itself the way you want:
you feel an architectural punch.

You step over the leaves, & there is a branch
you did not see. You feel it in the back
of your leg, & again feel it for days.

You see a voicemail. You must have missed a call.
There are no missed calls. You cannot fetch
the voicemail. You turn your phone off
& back on again. You will do this again.

sbgs cowskull

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